A Team Approach to Technology

Family Tech Tip #1:

Set up a family charging station for all devices when they're not in use.

Why? Research shows that even the presence of devices can negatively impact:

• Relationships and bonding within a family
• Concentration and focus
• Sleep

How will your family benefit from using a family charging station?

• Stronger family connections during meals and activities
• Improved work and school performance
• Better sleep, leading to enhanced mental health and overall wellbeing
   

When should you use a charging station?

• During family meals
• While engaging in family activities
• At bedtime

By creating a designated place for all phones, tablets, and other devices, you're setting the stage for more meaningful interactions and better personal outcomes for everyone in the family.

Family Tech Tip #2:

Use devices in shared spaces, not in bedrooms or bathrooms.

Why? We need to protect our kids' time, sleep, and values. Screens used in isolation, without purpose, can lead to:

• Curiosity clicks: The internet isn't always the best first teacher.
• Unhealthy escapes: Boredom can brew digital black holes when kids escape to a screen.
• Counterfeit connections: Loneliness leads to looking. Looking for approval, acceptance, and friendship—often in the wrong places online.

My kids or teens won’t go for this. How can I teach them the “why” behind tech-free zones?

Have conversations about the research and best practices:

• The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) recommend no screen-based devices in children’s and teen’s bedrooms and turning them off one hour before bedtime.
   
• Many organizations and studies have found that parental screen limitations and the absence of screens in bedrooms have been found to significantly reduce screen usage.
   
• Recent research shows a clear link between kids using screens and their sleep habits. When looking at many studies on this topic, almost all of them (90%) found the same thing: kids who use screens tend to go to bed later and get less sleep overall. This includes devices like phones, tablets, and TVs.

As parents, we can create boundaries that help to keep our kids safe and healthy. Keeping devices in open areas saves our relationships, sleep, mental health, posture, productivity, and our values.

The best part is when you commit as a family to use screen-approved zones in your home, everyone benefits. The reality is, boundaries keep ALL of us safe—kids and adults.

Family Tech Tip #3:

“Reset the room” to make space for screen-free hobbies and activities.
Here's a secret no one talks about when it comes to reducing screen time: it's called "resetting the room." It's a simple strategy for making future habits easy.

Thoughtfully arranging your space can make a big difference in encouraging screen-free activities. When kids see toys, books, and art supplies easily displayed and within reach, they naturally gravitate toward them.

Meanwhile, keeping screens tucked away when not in use makes them less of a default choice.

This environmental design approach is backed by behavioral science—we tend to choose activities that are convenient and visible.

This isn't just for little kids. Your pre-teens and teens will also gravitate toward what they see around them, whether it's a recipe book, a drum set, or a backyard game.

Want an easy (and free!) way to refresh your space? Use our local library. Beyond books, our library offers a "library of things"—you can borrow puzzles, instruments, tools, kitchen supplies, and more.

How will you arrange your home to showcase the activities your family loves and inspire new screen-free interests?

Family Tech Tip #4:

Have your first family tech talk about using technology as a tool.

The Toolbox Lesson: Have a family chat about using technology with purpose! Grab paper or a whiteboard and draw a line down the middle, making a "+" column and a "-" column. Start a conversation with your kids by asking: "How is a device like a tool, such as a hammer?" Just as a hammer can build or break, technology can help or harm.

Fill the "+" column by asking: What do you like about technology? What do you enjoy doing on devices? Then move to the "-" column: What are some downsides we should watch out for? What worries you about technology? Teens especially appreciate being asked for their perspective and insights on digital life.

End by discussing: How can we use technology as a tool that helps us? This builds digital discernment— the ability to make good technology choices. Research shows that families who have regular conversations about technology develop healthier digital habits, and children who think through decisions ahead of time make better choices.

Watch for Tech Tip #5 next month, where we'll use these insights to create your family's tech plan

Family Tech Tip #5:

Create a family tech plan with your kids.

Want your tech rules to stick? Include your kids in creating them! When children and teens help design the family's technology guidelines, they're more likely to follow them. Plus, having a shared plan helps parents model responsible device use too.

Create your family tech plan by answering these four key questions together:

• WHERE will screens be used? (And where won't they?)
• WHEN are good times for devices? (And when are they off-limits?)
• WHAT will we use screens for? (Identifying purposeful vs. mindless use)
• HOW LONG is reasonable for different activities?

Grab a whiteboard or paper and brainstorm boundaries together that will protect your:

• Family relationships and connection time
• Healthy sleep habits
• Physical activity and outdoor time
• Mental well-being

Remember: Your family tech plan can evolve as your children grow and technology changes. The goal is creating clear expectations that everyone commits to following. Display your plan somewhere visible – it'll come in handy during those "just five more minutes!" negotiations!

Need more help? Use the Quick Guide to Creating a Family Tech Plan here.

Family Tech Tip #6:

Set up tech safeguards on your home internet and devices.

Let's be real—no filter or monitoring service is perfect. But setting up parental controls and safety features on your home router and devices adds an important layer of protection. Think of it like a speed bump: it helps prevent young kids from accidentally encountering harmful content and gives older kids and teens a moment to pause before trying to get around safety settings.

I know what you're thinking – "Great, one more thing to add to my never-ending parent to-do list!" But here's the thing: when we give our kids access to the internet, we're essentially giving them access to the entire world. Just like we wouldn't let our 7-year-old wander into inappropriate places in the real world, we need to create similar boundaries online.

Remember though: the strongest filter is the one your child develops within themselves. While tech safeguards provide that crucial first line of defense, your ongoing conversations and open relationship with your child are your most powerful tools. When kids know they can come to you if they encounter something troubling online, that's worth more than any safety setting.

Ready to take action? Start by:

1. Looking up your home router model online to explore its built-in safety features

2. Searching "[device name] + parental controls" for each device in your home

3. Using free online tutorials to guide you through the setup process

The setup process might take a little time now, but it's an investment in your family's online safety that's worth making.

Family Tech Tip #7:

Have regular Tech Check-ins to help kids reflect on their digital choices.

Parents often ask if they should check their child or teen's devices. They worry about invading their privacy or breaking trust. As parents, our children's safety should be one of our top priorities. Unfortunately, many kids and teens are exposed to unsafe situations online and it's our job to prevent these harms as much as possible, and to guide our children when they encounter predators, cyberbullying, pornography, and other digital dangers.

We need to check devices and apps, and we can do it in a way that is respectful and promotes conversation and teaching rather than "spying." We've found it helpful to check in every few weeks, but you may decide to do it more or less often depending on your child's age and digital habits.

Here are a few ideas to help you with a Tech Check:

1. Tell your child/teen that a parent/caregiver will check devices since the internet was not built with safety and young people in mind.
2. Check the devices with your child/teen in the room with you.
3. Scan apps, texts, email, etc. for any red flags. This could be anything that feels alarming to you.
4. Ask your child/teen about it. Let them know they are not in trouble, you would just like to know more. If changes need to be made to time spent, content being viewed, or online connections, make a plan together.
5. Thank your child/teen for the good choices they have made on a device and remember to keep checking in.

Remember a Tech Check isn't a reason to spy on your child, it's an opportunity to start important and vital conversations about your child's tech use and to make a plan on how you can help them to make even better digital choices

Family Tech Tip #8:

Model the healthy tech habits you want to see.

Our kids are watching us—constantly. They notice when we tell them to put away devices while we continue scrolling through our phones. They absorb our technology habits, both good and bad, far more powerfully than any rules we create!

Want children who can have a conversation without checking notifications? Be fully present yourself. Hope they'll develop healthy boundaries with screens? Show them what that looks like in your own life. Wish they'd use technology purposefully rather than mindlessly? Let them see you doing exactly that.

Simple changes make a big difference: placing your phone face-down (or better yet, in another room) during family meals, narrating when you need to use technology ("I'm just checking the weather for tomorrow's game"), and demonstrating that notifications can wait. When you mindfully disconnect, you're teaching a valuable lesson without saying a word.

The reality is straightforward—your children are far more likely to develop the digital habits they see in action at home than those you simply tell them about. The most effective tech rules are the ones you follow yourself.

Next Action: Choose one tech habit you want your children to develop. Practice it visibly and consistently for the next week. Share what you're doing with your family: "I'm trying to be more present during our time together, so I'm putting my phone away until after dinner." Small changes in your behavior create powerful ripples in your family's digital culture

Family Tech Tip #9:
Teach kids to hit "pause" before posting, sharing, or responding online.

Try asking your kids to run through a quick mental checklist before they post or respond: "Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Would I say this to someone's face? Would I be okay with my grandma (or teacher or coach) seeing this?" These simple questions can prevent regret later.

This isn't just about avoiding problems – it's about raising a thoughtful generation of kids who understand that real people with real feelings are on the receiving end of their messages, comments, and posts. It's about recognizing that what goes online can spread quickly and never disappear.

I know it can feel awkward to bring these things up, especially with teens who might roll their eyes. But remember, even if they don't show it, they're listening. Your guidance matters in a world that needs more kindness.

Next Action: Create a family "pause" reminder. Maybe it's an acronym posted near the computer, a simple phrase you use, or a conversation starter about a recent news story where someone faced consequences for an impulsive post. We can help our kids develop the habit of that thoughtful "pause!

Family Tech Tip #10:
Make a screen time plan for the summer.

Summer brings new routines and schedules, and often, parents feel the need to fill their children's time with endless activities in order to crowd out screen time and eliminate boredom. While children need activities to stay active and healthy, they also need downtime to be creative and explore new ideas.

Our goal as parents is to allow our children some breathing room to do just this, without letting screens take over.

Your family's summer screen time plan might look different than during the school year, but it doesn't have to! More time simply means more time to explore, adventure, learn, and enjoy being a kid or teen. It doesn't have to mean more screen time.

Next Actions:

• Review Your Family Tech Plan. Gather your family and make a plan together. Get your kids involved. When you have a plan and post it somewhere visible, expectations are clear and there are WAY fewer screen time battles. This Quick Guide will get you started. Be sure to include:
  • Time limits. Time limits are absolutely essential. Technology today uses persuasive design to keep users online as long as possible. Our children and teens' developing brains are no match for these digital design tricks.
  • Be mindful of the content your child or teen is viewing. Our children's behavior and values are shaped by the content they consume. Decide ahead of time what platforms, channels, and/or apps are allowed. Within those options, make sure safety settings are in place and screens are being used in shared spaces.
• Make a list of "Boredom Busters" with your kids. Create a list of things your kids and teens can do on their own when you are unavailable or "there is nothing to do." We have a list here to get you started. Post your list on the fridge so your kids can turn to this when you hear the words, "Mom/Dad, I'm bored!"
   
• Rely on rhythms and routines. For younger children, make screen time predictable by allowing technology on certain days and/or times. Talk about the time limit before the screen is turned on and what you will do when their time is up. If possible, reward your child with time with you when the screen is off and away. If you can, unplug as a family for one day a week and one week out of the summer from optional technologies (social media, games, news, shopping, etc.)

Working with your kids and teens, you can create a healthier, more balanced relationship with screens and foster stronger family bonds this summer

Create a back-to-school tech routine to help your family stay in control

The back-to-school season is the perfect time to "reset the tech" in your home and create routines that keep technology in its proper place. When screens are used with intention, families can prioritize what matters most: connection, learning, and physical and emotional wellbeing.

Work together as a family to create new routines for three key times:

Morning Routine: Start the day with intention—not tech. Establish what needs to be done (breakfast, shower, getting dressed) before devices can be checked, and when they need to be put away before school. Use morning time to connect as a family and discuss the day ahead rather than getting pulled into the digital world first thing.

After-School Transition: Create a clear routine that gives brains a break from both screens and schoolwork. Try: check in with a parent, have a snack, then enjoy a mental break—outdoor time, sports, time with friends, reading, or a hobby. This brain break helps kids transition from school mode before tackling homework, chores, dinner, and family time. Having this planned routine prevents screens from always becoming the default after-school activity.

Evening Wind-Down: Keep screens out of bedrooms and put devices away one hour before bedtime to allow brains to unwind. Research consistently shows that bedtime media use results in poor sleep quality. Our brains need that restorative sleep to process the day's learning and be mentally sharp the next day. That device-free hour is essential for a good night’s rest.

Next Action: Hold a family meeting this week to discuss how your routines need to change for school success. Let kids help problem-solve the tricky transition times—they often have the best insights about what will actually work in their daily life.

Remember: The goal isn't perfection from day one, but creating a clear plan everyone commits to following. You can always start with just one change and adjust as you see how the new routine works in real life. When you prioritize family connection, meaningful learning, and well-being over constant connectivity, everyone wins!

One of the biggest challenges we face as parents in the digital age isn't setting tech boundaries—it's holding them when it's hard. When your child asks for "just five more minutes" or begs to download the latest app, saying yes often feels easier than dealing with the pushback. Screen time battles can feel relentless, and holding the line takes energy you don't always have.

Strategies to stay consistent when it's hard:

• Remember why you said no in the first place. You're playing the long game and doing what's best for your child's development and wellbeing. Remembering your 'why' will help you to keep the boundary.
   
• Make decisions once, not repeatedly. Create clear family tech rules so you're not negotiating every single request. "Screen time is after homework" means you don't have to decide forty times whether now is okay.
   
• Use simple, consistent language. "The answer is no." "We already discussed this." "The rule hasn't changed." Don't re-explain or re-negotiate what's already been decided.
   
• Prepare for the wave. Expect complaints, negotiations, or mood shifts—and decide ahead of time you won't engage. Their frustration will pass; your consistency builds long-term respect for boundaries.
   
• Tag-team with your co-parent if possible. Share the load of enforcing boundaries so one parent isn't always playing the "bad guy."
   
• Remember what consistency creates. When kids learn that the boundary holds every time, they eventually stop testing it as much. Short-term discomfort from holding firm leads to long-term relief.

Next Action: Identify your weakest moment for holding tech boundaries (after work? dinner prep? bedtime?). Create one simple, non-negotiable tech rule for that specific time and commit to holding it for one week, even when it's hard.

Remember: It's harder in the beginning, but consistency reduces battles over time. Your future self (and your kids) will thank you for staying strong today!

When kids first get access to texting or messaging on a device, many parents overlook one of the riskiest features: group chats. Group messaging presents unique challenges that younger kids and even middle schoolers aren't developmentally ready to handle.

Why group chats are risky for younger kids:

• The pace is overwhelming. Messages pile up quickly, creating pressure to respond immediately and anxiety about missing out.
   
• Social dynamics get complicated. Group chats amplify exclusion, misunderstandings, gossip, and peer pressure. Kids still learning basic social skills in person aren't ready to navigate these complex dynamics online.
   
• Things escalate quickly. What starts as innocent conversation can rapidly shift when one person shares something inappropriate. The group mentality can override individual judgment.
   
• There's less accountability. Kids say things in groups they'd never say one-on-one, and even if your child makes good choices, their name is attached to whatever the group does.

A better approach: Start with one-on-one messaging with close friends first. This allows your kids to practice appropriate online communication without group pressure and learn to handle uncomfortable situations with your support.

When are kids ready for group chats? High school age is generally when teens have developed stronger social awareness, better impulse control, and greater ability to recognize problematic situations. Even then, start small—a group with 3-4 close friends is very different from a class-wide chat.

Next Action: If your child is asking to message someone online, start with one-on-one communication on your device with people they know in real life. Share the reasons listed above so they understand why group chats aren't appropriate right now.

Remember: Just because technology makes group communication possible doesn't mean kids are ready for it. You're not depriving them—you're setting them up for healthier digital relationships when they're truly ready.

Winter break is coming, and with it: more free time, colder weather keeping kids indoors, and the inevitable "I'm bored" followed by reaching for a screen. Without a clear plan, screens can easily become the default activity, and before you know it, the entire break has been consumed by devices. 

Why screen limits matter—(even during break!):

Too much screen time isn't just about wasted time. Research shows that excessive screen use during breaks can lead to:

• Disrupted sleep patterns—Late-night gaming and scrolling throw off healthy sleep schedules that took months to establish
• Increased irritability and mood problems—The more time kids spend on screens, the more we see mood dysregulation, frustration, and emotional outbursts
• Loss of family connection—Break is precious time to strengthen relationships, but screens pull everyone into their own isolated worlds
• Decreased physical activity—Kids' bodies need movement, and winter already limits outdoor time without screens taking over completely
• Harder transition back to school—Kids who spend break in screen mode struggle more when structure and focus are required again

You want your kids to return to school rested, connected, and ready to learn—not exhausted from late-night screens and socially disconnected.

Why planning ahead matters:

When you make screen time decisions reactively (in response to whining, boredom, or exhaustion!), you're more likely to give in just to have peace. But when you've already agreed on clear expectations as a family, everyone knows what to expect and there's far less negotiating.

Create your winter break screen plan:

Revisit your family tech plan together. Pull out the plan you created (or use this as the perfect time to make one). Does your school-year plan need adjusting for break, or will you keep the same boundaries?

Decide on daily screen time limits. Will you allow more screen time during break than during school? That's okay—just be clear about what "more" means. One extra hour? Specific times of day? Be concrete.

Identify screen-free times. Protect key family moments: meals together, family outings, game nights, holiday traditions. Make these non-negotiables.

Plan for "I'm bored" moments. Create a list together of screen-free activities your kids can do independently. Post it somewhere visible so when boredom hits, there's a plan. Include: outdoor activities (bundle up!), indoor games, books, crafts, cooking projects, building projects, calling a friend, etc.

Build in special screen time. Winter break can include cozy movie nights, playing video games together as a family, or a holiday baking show marathon. Planned, intentional screen time you enjoy together is different from mindless scrolling.

Discuss new devices or games. If kids are receiving devices or games as gifts, talk NOW about when and how they'll be used. Don't wait until Christmas morning to figure out the rules.

Next Action: Schedule a family meeting this week—before break starts. Let kids help shape the plan. When they have input, they're more likely to follow through. Write down your agreements and post them where everyone can see.

Remember: Winter break doesn't have to mean a screen time free-for-all. With a clear plan everyone agrees to, you can protect family time, prevent battles, and still allow for relaxation and fun. A little planning now saves a lot of frustration later.

'Analog hobbies' are coming back for a reason. (Hobbies that don’t use technology.) Using our hands and minds improves mental health, is intellectually stimulating, and you get to show off the cool things you've made to friends and family. ;)

During the dark winter months, it's easy to reach for devices for entertainment. While there's nothing wrong with relaxing with a movie or keeping up with your favorite sports team, too much screen time means missing out on physical activity, connection with friends and family, and developing new skills or unwinding with an offline hobby.

Studies show that offline hobbies are linked to significant improvements in mental and physical health, including reduced anxiety, lower blood pressure, and may even help you live longer. When we unplug for a while we also improve our focus and creativity. Without constant digital stimulation, the brain returns to a more balanced rhythm.

Did you know that daily reading for pleasure in the U.S. dropped by over 40% in two decades? Screen time is crowding out hobbies that used to be part of everyday life. This winter is your chance to reclaim one.

What will you try this winter? Here are ideas to get you started:

• A daily walk in nature
• A new board game
• A puzzle
• Crochet or knitting
• Learn to play an instrument
• Journal
• Draw or paint
• Paint your room
• Learn to fix a car
• Learn woodworking
• Cook a new recipe
• Learn photography skills (try a real camera!)
• Try a new genre of book or read your favorite comic book

Experiment with a variety of activities and eventually something will feel very "you." This will become one of your go-to activities when you're stressed, tired, or just need to unwind.

Next Action: Challenge your kids to pick one activity from the list to try this month, or choose something to try together as a family and model the offline hobbies you want to see.

Remember: Analog hobbies aren't just about reducing screen time—they're about building skills, reducing stress, and discovering what brings joy beyond a screen. Here’s to a winter full of fun quiet escapes.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released new screen time guidelines—they’re worth checking out! They warn parents about manipulative app design. This month's tip breaks down the tricks tech companies use and how to fight back.

Why screens are so hard to put down:

Endless scroll and autoplay. Social media feeds never end, and videos automatically play the next one. There's no natural stopping point.

Notifications and badges. Every ping, like, or achievement triggers a dopamine hit. Apps send these constantly to pull kids back in.

Algorithms that hook them. Platforms track what your child watches and feed them more of exactly that—an endless stream designed to keep them watching.

Easy to start, hard to quit. Apps make it simple to open but deliberately difficult to exit. There's no "Are you sure you want to keep watching?" prompt.

These aren't accidents. Tech companies employ psychologists specifically to make platforms addictive. More time on the app means more ad revenue for them.

What you can do:

Have the conversation. Explain that apps are designed to be hard to stop using. It's not a personal failure—it's intentional manipulation.

Point out the tricks. When you see autoplay or endless scroll, name it: "See how it automatically played the next video? That's designed to keep you watching."

Turn off manipulative features. Disable autoplay, turn off non-essential notifications, and use timers to create natural stopping points.

Set limits ahead of time. Before opening an app or website, ask: "How much time will you spend?" Help them decide and stick to it.

Next Action: This week, watch what your child is doing on a screen for a few minutes. Point out one design feature keeping them engaged. Start building their awareness.

Remember: When kids understand they're being manipulated, they can start to resist it. You're not just fighting your child's willpower—you're fighting billion-dollar companies. Awareness is the first step toward control.

Family Tech Tip #19:
Skip the screen time reward charts this summer.
Is screen time like a dangling carrot in your home? The thing your kids or teens plan their day around?

At the beginning of summer, screen time reward charts resurface. But a screen time reward chart doesn't deserve a place on your fridge this summer—or ever.

We should have expectations around meeting basic daily tasks prior to spending time on screens, but we don't want to use screens as a reward.

Why? Because it gives the screen too much power. Suddenly time on technology is the focus, and before we know it, we've created a technology habit loop for our kids.

We don't want to condition our kids to habitually turn to a screen to relax, buffer from real life, or to relieve boredom.

The research:

Research has found that children whose parents used screen time as a reward or revoked it as punishment spent significantly more time on screens than children whose parents didn't use this approach.

Researchers explained: "It's similar to how we shouldn't use sugary treats as rewards because by doing so we can heighten the attraction to them. When you give food as a reward it makes children like the carrot less and the cake more. Same thing with screen time."

Why this happens:

Habit experts call this a habit loop—cue, routine, reward. The chart is the cue. The chores are the routine. The screen is the reward. You've just built the exact habit you were trying to prevent.

It works in the moment. But one month into summer, you'll notice every conversation in your house is about screens.

What to do instead:

Does this mean no chore charts? Not at all. At the bottom of the chart you can say something like "then you get free time!" One free time choice might be screen time some days. But the real reward is free time—play, friends, hobbies.

And we certainly need written screen time boundaries. This is your family tech plan.

Next Action: If you're currently using a screen time reward chart, change it this week. Reward free time instead.

Remember: When screens aren't the prize, they lose their grip on your child's motivation. Free time becomes the reward—opening the door to play, creativity, and connection.